Rom-Com Mantras for Owning Your Spring Destiny

Spring is a time of rebirth, and also a time to convince yourself that you can do things you failed at last year, like keeping a bonsai tree alive or finding out what sous vide means. To amp you up to take control of your destiny—and own who you are right now—we picked out special rom-com quotes to get you through the season in high spirits.

 

For When You’re Getting Ready to Go Out on a Friday Night

“Let’s have the type of night where it’s like 5 a.m. and once of us has definitely punched somebody who’s been on a Disney channel show.” – Elijah, Girls

 

For When You Have a Job Interview

“My biggest weakness is that I lose my purse a lot, but then my biggest strength is that I always get it back.” – Ilana, Broad City

 

For When You Finally Turn 30

“30, flirty and thriving.” – Jenna, 13 Going on 30

 

For When You Require Bottomless Mimosas

“You know what’s fun? Alcohol!” – Chloe, Don’t the B in Apartment 23

 

For When a Love Interest Fucks with You

“I am not interested in emotional fuckwittage. Goodbye.” – Bridget, Bridget Jones’s Diary

 

For When You Get Dumped (Or Dump Someone Else)

“I think I need to just be by myself for maybe, like, a year.” – Mickey, Love

 

For When You “Practice Food Freedom”

“I am one of the few people who looks hot eating a cupcake.” – Kelly Kapoor, The Office

 

For When a Friend Disappoints You

“Why can’t you be happy for me and then go home and talk about me behind my back like a normal person?”Lillian, Bridesmaids

 

For When You Find Yourself Crying at a Baby Shampoo Commercial

“I just have a lot of feelings.” – “Crying Girl,” Mean Girls

 

For When Someone Questions Your Majesty

“I could win prom queen in fluorescent lighting, on the first day of my period, and cloaked in T.J. Maxx, ok!” – Taylor, She’s All That

 

For When … Pizza

“There is no aspect, no moment of life, that can’t be improved with pizza.” – Daria

 

For When You Finally Figure Out How to Give Yourself a Blowout

“I’m bitchin’/ great hair/ the boys all love to stare.” – The Toros, Bring it On

 

For When His Eyes Glaze Over

“I hope you like feminist rants, cuz that’s kinda my thing.” –  Jess, The New Girl

 

For When Cartoons Get You Feeling All Existential

“All you are is just the things that you do.” – Diane, Bojack Horseman

 

Image via whyjenzeetumblr.com


wd_contributor_headshots5Becky Lang is a writer, creative director and occasional podcaster living in Minneapolis.

She also likes to draw dogs and female protagonists.