Our February Writers Prompt Selection: Learning to Love the Unknown

Relationships

W&D February Writer's Prompt Winner: Learning to Love the Unknown – Wit & Delight


Turn the radio on and you’ve got yourself a myriad of love ballads to choose from. Some of them are the drippy, sappy kind that stick to your bones; others are angry, red-hot with resentment. But, some of the best ones out there are those that aren’t explicitly about romance. Joni Mitchell’s “Big Yellow Taxi” comes to mind, specifically a line from the chorus.

“You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.”

No. You don’t. Or, in the very least, I didn’t know what I had until it was almost gone.

Three months ago my stepmom went into liver failure.

She’d had a day-long headache and took an Ibuprofen to quell her discomfort. Some hours later she was retching blood. She and my father would make haste to the ER where she would be medevaced to another hospital. She was in the hospital for two weeks afterward, but the drug had already taken its toll on her. The doctors said she had terminal liver failure and gave her 90 days. It was a fluke, a chance accident that she’d have an allergic reaction. But she did. And it nearly killed her.

Typing that last sentence stings. My eyes well up and I can feel the sadness sit heavy in my throat. Up until that point, until she was almost gone, I didn’t realize that I took for granted how much I loved her. More so, I didn’t fully acknowledge the extent of her influence—her love—on me and of me until three months ago. I’m ashamed to admit it because it feels unkind and ignorant. But part of my stepmom’s modus operandi in life is transparent honesty. So here I am, attempting to be honest about my feelings.

That isn’t her only life pursuit. She believes in the power of language: of had versus have. As in she had liver failure—not has. She loves wholeheartedly, thicker than the crunchy peanut butter you can grind yourself at an organic market. She places an emphasis on communication and candor—on owning your feelings and understanding why you feel or felt a certain way. It was here, at those metaphorical crossroads, where you’d harness the best version of yourself—you’d find love, compassion, and understanding. For yourself, anyone, and anything.

This sentiment carried me through the past 15 years of my life and paved the way for some of the most magical moments. It helped me navigate the tough ones too, to say the least. So, when tempered with the prospect of losing that fulcrum, I found myself saying to others that the world could learn a thing or two from the love that my stepmom and dad have. Not just how they love each other, but how they teach others to love—both the other as an individual and the other within a relationship. Had it not been for my stepmom and her impact on my dad and I, my life would’ve been very different.

So, when I asked “What can I do to help?” my dad’s reply wasn’t surprising. “Just love her,” he said.

That meant I also had to love the unknown. The unknown could mean losing a mom. Or, the unknown could also mean another 30 years of parental bliss.

But how the hell do you reconcile and learn to love the unknown? I’m quick to say “I don’t know.” That’s easier than having to face my emotions or demons. But in my head, I can hear my stepmom’s voice saying “Well, why don’t you take a wild ass guess, babe.”

Dammit, Mom. No, there’s no harm in taking a W.A.G. I guess I’d start here, sitting at the edge of her bed—nestled between the life lessons she gives me, the effervescent love, and memories. But if I wasn’t me? If I wasn’t someone who’d spent what felt like an eternity with her? I’d say:

Start by talking to your plants—they’re world’s best listeners.

Make space for yourself. All of you.

Seek truth in the why.

Stay honest with yourself.

Maintain compassion.

Take the fear out of the unknown.

Leave judgment to the courts.  

Start vocalizing expectations.

And more importantly, love something or someone for what or who it is, not what it’s not.

In turn, you end up loving yourself and others more than you think.

So, this isn’t your conventional love story. It doesn’t have an ending because that’s the beauty of love: it just keeps going. Love is adaptive, versatile, and everlasting. It will endure. And I will too.

Illustration by Megan Galante


SaveSave

SaveSave

BY Monique Seitz-Davis - February 22, 2018

18 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments

I loved the last paragraph. You’re right – love has no ending. Thank you for sharing! 🙂

Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
http://charmainenyw.com

Mailinh
February 22, 2018 10:06 am

Beautifully written.

Sara
February 23, 2018 4:33 pm

This was so well articulated & clearly written with so much love and intention. Thank you for sharing.

Sarvesh Arora
February 24, 2018 5:19 pm

This blog is really beautiful. I really liked it.
Keep curating such articles like this.
Techylist

March 3, 2018 3:25 pm

Wow, this is something unique. Writers should be taught and given preferences just like every other. Thanks for this post.

May 21, 2018 4:36 am

Nice mam.
keep witing more content like this one….

June 9, 2018 6:00 am

NICE keep writing more .

June 22, 2018 5:53 am

very best article. Keep it up.

June 22, 2018 5:54 am

Top best website. Thanks for sharing !

June 22, 2018 5:55 am

Watch bigg boss 12 episode and best article ever !

July 23, 2018 2:47 am

Thank You for share nice article

July 23, 2018 2:48 am

You article is very unique very thanks

July 23, 2018 2:50 am

It very wonderful content

July 23, 2018 2:51 am

Your website content is nice

August 17, 2018 1:06 am

Perfect dude keep it up!

September 21, 2018 4:56 am

Thanks and do checkout our website related to light that blunt.

October 26, 2018 4:40 am

Your writing has inspired me. Thank you so much!

December 10, 2018 6:11 am

Your writing is very emotional. I love it.

Most-read posts:

Did you know W&D now has a resource library of  Printable Art, Templates, Freebies, and more?

take me there 

Arrow Alone

Get Our Best W&D Resources

for designing a life well-lived

MORE STORIES

Arrow Alone

the latest

Thank you for being here. For being open to enjoying life’s simple pleasures and looking inward to understand yourself, your neighbors, and your fellow humans! I’m looking forward to chatting with you.

Hi, I'm Kate. Welcome to my happy place.

follow  @WITANDDELIGHT

ELSEWHERE

PINTEREST

FACEBOOK

332k

2.9m

16k

INSTAGRAM

CREATE

A LIFE THAT

follow us on instagram @witanddelight_

DELIGHTS