Essay: Forgive Yourself For Not Being Perfect. Then Do It Again Tomorrow.

Health & Wellness

Hello, everyone! Here we have a picture of two dogs embracing and the words of Liz Welle. Both are equally comforting. Enjoy. – Kate

Given the state of everything in the world right now, there are really only two things I’m certain of anymore: I will never have a tampon in my purse when I need one, and I am relentless about making myself feel like shit. I would just like to brag for one second. I am excellent at constantly remembering everything I’m bad at and nothing I’m good at. (Does it sound like I’m fishing for compliments? Good, I am. Email them to me.) I am a huge fan at getting stuck in self-wallowing quicksand because thankfully, bless its little heart, anxiety refuses to discriminate and I am a lucky Chosen One. Anxiousness is personally one of my favorite hobbies and if they gave out blue ribbons for it I would have more than that one lady whose blueberry pie wins at your local county fair every year.

Maybe you, like me, are a delicate anxious leaf. Maybe you have an anxious attachment in relationships. Maybe you let insecurity shine through in 90% of your daily actions. Maybe you process things differently than most people and it causes your brain to spin out of control. Maybe you are a disorganized ADD-riddled wreck sometimes. Maybe it’s something else. Whatever it is, babe we just gotta keep on keepin’ on. We’re so quick to berate ourselves like being a human isn’t the hardest job in the world and as though brains aren’t the most complicated things on this planet? Like they aren’t home to millions of wires and neurons and feelings all just chillin? Like they occasionally may not sync up in a way we deem perfect? Wow. Crazy. Who woulda thought? Not me.

So you’re a mess? So what? Me too. So let’s push forward. Everyday. Slip backward. It’s okay. Pick yourself back up. Examine your behavior patterns. Maybe try and not do things that bring you to a really sad place where you want to just lay in bed 26 hours a day and never see anyone’s face again. Eat an orange. Give yourself a pep talk. You are worth daily pep talks. Misery Bay is the name of a city in Michigan that I’m sure is home to very nice people, it is not the name of your brain.

I know this is hard. You’ll get better at it. You’ll get better at not slipping into the trap of not appreciating everything about you that’s magic; the things that no one else has. We’ll one day be as sure of our self-worth as we are that dogs are the greatest thing on the planet. Some days we’ll fall off this little wagon we’re building and traveling on. We’ll get back on. We’ll do better. We’ll forge ahead. We have to. Maybe we’ll have it all figured out by the time our soul leaves our cute bodies but probably not so just make sure you’re being as nice to your heart as possible.

So let’s TRY. In 2017 let’s try to remember regularly (I am not above setting calendar reminders) that it is not an outlandish idea to have your own back. Even when you’re like “Dude, I really don’t like you right now,” (that was you talking to yourself). Then forgive yourself when you screw it all up. Cup your own chin in your hands like those really hot guys do to those really hot girls in Tumblr photos and remind yourself that your spirit is busy growing and it’s going to be a messy trip that might make you queasy sometimes. It’s meant to. Then have some pancakes.

This time of year is incredibly difficult and quite frankly I am having difficulty not seeing the glass half empty from December to April. My brain chooses on bathing in a hot tub of negativity when we have three hours of daylight a day; it’s amazing. Do your best to stay brave, which should be easy considering you are a unicorn. You keep forgetting that but it’s true.

Image of Liz Welle: Voxland Photo

BY Liz Welle - January 23, 2017

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add a comment

  1. Natalie

    January 24th, 2017 at 2:26 pm

    Love this so much, and not just because there are dogs at the top

    – Natalie

  2. Rebecca

    January 24th, 2017 at 8:43 pm

    This is so incredibly awesome. Funny. True. So “holy crap…that’s me!”.

    Progress…most days. I’m putting this page in my bookmarks – I may have to refer to it 1-15x a day.

    Thanks! And thought I just found the site…I love it daily now.

  3. Kate

    January 25th, 2017 at 12:36 pm

    I felt the same way when I read it, too!!

  4. KTDO

    January 24th, 2017 at 9:37 pm

    Thank you for sharing this. So needed. I am definitely a “delicate anxious leaf”, lol! It feels so incredibly good to hear that I’m not alone.

  5. Kate

    January 24th, 2017 at 10:12 pm

    Thank you for this.

  6. Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog

    January 24th, 2017 at 10:30 pm

    Thank you for sharing this. I can relate so well. And that picture of the two dogs, so adorable!

    Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog

  7. Aisha

    January 25th, 2017 at 10:28 am

    Thank you for this.

  8. Germarie Bruwer

    January 26th, 2017 at 5:53 am

    Thanks for sharing this kate and the dogs embracing pic is adorable! 🙂
    x Germarie

  9. Chesley McCarty

    January 26th, 2017 at 12:33 pm

    Reading your blog posts is always the highlight of my week, they bring me so much joy! Thank you for keeping such great and relevant content coming our way – it’s like you always know what my heart needs!

  10. Anna Oates

    January 26th, 2017 at 3:24 pm

    I love this message and the way it was written. So real

  11. K

    January 26th, 2017 at 4:06 pm

    Thank you for this. I’ve been having an anxious couple of hours, and I’ve felt anxiety in my chest for no discernible reason. I’m trying to relax by reading blogs and this helped, thank you.

  12. Erin Depew

    January 28th, 2017 at 5:41 pm

    Oh hi… that’s me too. I feel like women, in general, are way too hard on ourselves. I just find that most of my guy friends never have that self-critical sound track constantly running for some reason. My friend usually jokes that with enough practice we might one day have the self-confidence of a mediocre white male 🙂 . In the meantime, I’ll be trying to go easier on myself one day at a time.

  13. Kate

    January 30th, 2017 at 8:28 am

    UGH. You are so right.

  14. Jess

    February 1st, 2017 at 2:02 pm

    What an amazing little nugget for us all! Love, love, love it!!!

  15. Good good links #178 – Let's get living

    February 4th, 2017 at 7:19 pm

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  16. hoa bo

    April 22nd, 2017 at 11:03 am

    I’ve been having an anxious couple of hours, and I’ve felt anxiety in my chest for no discernible reason. hoa tình yeu

  17. Kate Woods - Cooking On Clocks

    July 17th, 2017 at 10:28 am

    This may sound insane BUT I come back and re-read this article on an almost bi-weekly basis. I struggle so much with beating myself up for pretty much everything that doesn’t go exactly as I thought it would but I’m a work in progress and this article reminds me of that when I can’t remind myself.

  18. Liz Welle

    July 17th, 2017 at 10:57 am

    That is not insane whatsoever.

    I’m here to remind you whenever you need reminding that you got this. <3

  19. Keep smiling - your attitude rules! - LOOKbook Today

    July 28th, 2017 at 8:33 pm

    […] Forgive Yourself for Not Being Perfect | […]

  20. Bani

    November 8th, 2017 at 1:10 pm

    THANKS A LOT FOR WRITING THIS. Finally a blog that my soul relates too entirely, to each and every word written here. I know I’m going to refer to this essay a lot in the future.

  21. BrunoA

    October 4th, 2019 at 9:28 am

    This is a great essay! You can find more topics here

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