Tornadoes to Tablescapes: Life Inside the Lifestyle Blog

Relationships

wd_heymama_extras3For those of you who might not know me, I’m Joe, Kate’s husband.  A few things I’d like to get out there before going any further…

No, I didn’t anticipate a stranger ever coming up to me and confessing her love for my wife, and the kitchen we make our toast in each morning, but I’ve slowly become accustomed to it. And in many cases, I’ve come to embrace my role as husband of a blogger, but not in the sense you might expect.

Yes, we met at a #menswear event, I took her out for a fateful cup of tea for our first date, which turned into dating, quickly became an engagement, and two months later, a marriage, shortly after a home, a puppy we call “Bear”, and most recently a baby boy born in July that we named August. None of this is likely news to you through, because you’re a reader of this thing that I live with, and it’s called Wit & Delight.

No, I really didn’t know what I was ‘getting into’ when I started dating Kate. I didn’t know she procured a blog. I vaguely remember her ‘liking’ an Instagram photo that I had taken where I had quoted Sufjan Stevens, and then being shocked at her 10k Instagram followers… I wondered how a designer in Minneapolis might acquire that sort of massive following… but didn’t think much of it until my mom commented that I might recommend we watch Casablanca on an upcoming date. I found out later that my mom went deep into the Wit & Delight archives to discover Kate considered a guy who enjoyed the film Casablanca to be a quite impressive trait for potential suitors. So, on our sixth date (Valentine’s Day) and the most cliché move ever, we watched that film and finally (as Kate’s remembers it) shared our first kiss. It was bold and borderline creepy. Here I am though, and the rest can be found randomly on this very website if you feel like digging through the past four years.

Now that I have the sappy business out of the way, let me tell you why I’m here. To tell you what it’s really like to ‘live with Wit & Delight.’ Kate and I are both a bit conflicted when talking about WHAT W&D is. It’s certainly not a real time all-access pass to the life we have, and it’s definitely not like living on a photo shoot, but it does give glimpses into the life we share mixed in with Kate’s passions and hobbies, which have become her career. I see my wife work day and night to build an idea into a business, but you see a couple, in a house, with a baby, making meals, investing in your home and sharing it with people who are inspired to do the same. It makes things confusing and we’ve spent the past couple years figuring out how to separate life from work and work from life.

Yes, being married to Kate is in some ways the same thing as being married to W&D, and yes, the walls of our home really are that white, the countertops really shine like that (when they’re not covered in last night’s dinner), and for the last time… the couches are from Article.

And no, our house doesn’t always look like it does on Instagram. I feel like this goes without saying, but from interacting with W&D followers over the years, I’m convinced otherwise.  

Kate once described herself as a ‘tornado’ –she moves so fast that there are at times, a wake of destruction that followers her. This is an understatement. It’s more like a tsunami. Just when I think we couldn’t fit more stuff in our house, I come home to a complete rearranged house and a mountain of boxes. I’m told to not worry about it, but I do and I remind her that compulsive redecorating might be a condition to get checked out. I kid, but truthfully, one of our biggest arguments happened after I came home early from a work trip while she was rearranging our tiny apartment. I lost it. I just wanted to come home, know where my stuff was, and watch tv with my wife. Instead, we were measuring for a new rug and looking for a new home for the last piece of furniture I had contributed to our marriage. (One leather chair remains.) Additionally, there are at times, piles of clothes that sit just outside the art directed photo of our bedroom, makeup in the bathroom sink, and dishes that are strewn about the house after a photo shoot. It wasn’t until we learned to share in each other’s goals that we began to make room for each other’s ticks. It wasn’t just getting accustomed to the constant change in our home, it was getting accustomed to the pace of life we each preferred and acknowledging our needs were different, sometimes contradicting. Communication was key, and knowing when to say “I’ve had enough” was how both Kate and I found a way to live with W&D and still have our private life. Now, the mess and the boxes and the weekend photoshoots are something that I’ve not only become accustomed but started to enjoy, as making things– experiences, meals, etc, is part of our life. It hasn’t been easy and I’ve had to learn how to live with her workaholic tendencies and her ADHD. It would be dishonest to say otherwise. It drives me nuts that she likes to wait until the last minute to get to the airport or that she wears my clothes and stretches out the arms. I’m not over the fact she shrunk my favorite sweater. Or that she took down my Michael Jordan memorabilia in the basement. For all the little things that we fight about, I realize they’re also the reasons we got married. She never sold me a picture perfect life, in fact, she presented her flaws before I had the chance to get to know her. I knew what I was getting into.

Life at our house is life with a dog that sheds too much, and a growing boy that leaves my shirts spotted with who-knows-what and me- who has a knack for leaving my size fourteen boots just where you might trip on them- mixed with moments that look picture perfect. ‘Wit & Delight’ is the product of the beautiful mess that we call life.


Image by 2nd Truth

Joe Peters lives in Saint Paul, MN with his wife Kate, son August, and trusted Labrador, Winnie. In his spare time, he’s the head of marketing for Vasque Footwear.

 

 

BY Joe Peters - February 16, 2017

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21 Comments  +

add a comment

  1. Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog

    February 16th, 2017 at 10:19 am

    I loved hearing your side of the story, Joe! I find it so endearing to know that you had no idea who Kate was before you met, so cute and genuine!

    Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
    http://charmainenyw.com

  2. Anna

    February 16th, 2017 at 10:38 am

    So sweet, and a great perspective to step into for the blog. I love the wabi sabi attitude of transparency that you guys share with us readers.

    Also, your tips for managing life with a blogger wife is just as valid for life with a partner, especially one who is also a workaholic with ADHD (aka my husband).

    All the best to the both of you!

  3. Megan

    February 16th, 2017 at 11:06 am

    I loved this!

  4. Jackie

    February 16th, 2017 at 11:11 am

    This was a delight to read and Kate, in general I’ve loved all the new content as of late. The guest essays are eye-opening and beautifully composed and when I see you’ve tweeted about a new one I find myself rushing over to the site to read it.

    P.S. Joe I stand by my opinion on adding a puppy to your fam, consider it, maybe, please?

  5. michele

    February 16th, 2017 at 11:44 am

    OMg!! loved this!!

  6. Jenna

    February 16th, 2017 at 11:46 am

    I Love that Joe is writing here now!!

  7. Crystal

    February 16th, 2017 at 12:43 pm

    Thanks for letting us in on your life and sharing both the good and the REAL! Always a need to keep it real.

  8. Danielle Whithorne

    February 16th, 2017 at 12:43 pm

    raw. real. genuine. exactly why your wife has such an incredible following- she relates to so many. your relationship relates to so many. thank you, both, for sharing your personal story.

  9. Oho

    February 16th, 2017 at 12:49 pm

    Joe. This is a perfect piece of writing. Kudos to you for the honesty, hilarity and for loving Kate whole-heartedly and better than anyone. And kudos to that truly brilliant and vibrant wife of yours, whom I adore, for her willingness to allow us to see what real life is, not what Instagram says it should be. Love you guys.

  10. Christina

    February 16th, 2017 at 1:01 pm

    What a delight to read! Thanks for keeping it real! #morejoe

  11. fefe

    February 16th, 2017 at 3:25 pm

    Thanks for sharing!

    http://objectsicantafford.com

  12. Jin

    February 16th, 2017 at 5:03 pm

    Beautifully written, Joe! Also so applicable to anyone living with a workaholic-tornado partner — I love hearing that I’m not the only one with the quirks. Kate – the essays here have been incredible lately. I am really enjoying the content, so keep up the great work and take ample breaks to enjoy time with your beautiful family<3

  13. keri

    February 16th, 2017 at 6:04 pm

    You guys just keep getting even more endearing. Thank you for this!

  14. Jenn

    February 16th, 2017 at 6:22 pm

    What an amazing post! That’s love!

  15. Mailinh

    February 17th, 2017 at 7:47 pm

    Catching on this week’s reading list. Thank you for sharing your perspective, Joe. This is what keeps me coming back to this space: raw honesty.

    Have a happy weekend!
    Mailinh

  16. Happy {Long} Weekend + Links I Love – DonzWebb

    February 18th, 2017 at 3:42 pm

    […] + LOVED this. Life Inside the Lifestyle Blog. […]

  17. Addy

    February 20th, 2017 at 11:56 am

    Thanks for the honesty. This is why I enjoy reading W&D because I can relate with it.

  18. Allison G

    February 20th, 2017 at 8:44 pm

    Very nice Joe! You guys are killing it! 🙌

  19. Heather

    February 20th, 2017 at 9:08 pm

    Love this.

  20. Emma

    February 21st, 2017 at 9:25 am

    I love that you guys are keeping it real around here 🙂 It’s definitely one of the many reasons I keep coming back!

  21. Dana Leigh Lyons

    February 22nd, 2017 at 7:49 pm

    Such a beautiful, open look into your lives. Thank you!

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