“I went to sleep with gum in my mouth and now there’s gum in my hair and when I got out of bed this morning I tripped on the skateboard and by mistake I dropped my sweater in the sink while the water was running and I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.”
I have a sh!tty attitude. There, I said it. I have lived the past few months in a constant state of being stressed AF. I’m an empath and I tend to absorb energy and feelings, making problems, concerns, and worries my own and it can make me feel like I’m running on empty. And that’s before I take personal inventory. Between seasonal affective disorder, the normal stresses of a chaotic life that I choose to live jam-packed in hyperspeed, plus the fears of a post-apocalyptic world, (and I’m not sure if I have sepsis, but there’s a Hulu ad running that makes me think I really ought to look into it). I mean, there’s just a lot to cope with as I brace myself for my 30th birthday.
While sipping on tea with a particularly uplifting tag and mindlessly drowning my sorrows in a bag of inspirational Dove Promises, I thought to myself, ‘DJ Khaled is actually right. “They” don’t want to see me shine and be my best me. *They* probably don’t want to see me finish this bag of chocolate.’ So, – ANOTHER ONE – I unwrapped that bite of Dove and business seemed to be back to boomin’ as I brainstormed an exhaustive list of how to turn this frown upside down.
The first matter of business was putting myself in a “Time Out.” Acknowledging that I have a problem. Accepting the fact that no one wants to spend time around moody Judy, not even Judy herself. Next, I needed to move beyond the vague suggestions we so often receive, such as:
Though these are good ideas in abstract principle, I’m in need of a deeper cleaning through a less-than-normal approach in a state of dire desperation. Right now, I need a step-by-step guide for how to get this “Attitude Train” back on the tracks. Here’s what I came up with:
Designate a talisman to keep in your bag, a traveling token to remind you to stay on your A-Game. Ain’t nothing gonna break your stride.
You can do anything for ten minutes. At least this is what I say when I’m trying to talk myself into something I really don’t want to do. Why not apply this mentality to some new-agey self-improvement tactics?
The following adjustments are activities that can be done with friends, because duh, good, patient friends are important on this journey of getting you back to being you, by loving you all up, while calling you on your BS, too.
A digital detox just isn’t realistic while living my daily life. But a nightly one might be. This month, I’m trying something different. I recently bought an old school alarm clock and I’m banishing my phone from the bedroom. My theory is that eliminating phone time in bed will result in earlier bedtimes, less mindless consumption and toxic comparison, and jumping out of bed to start my day faster and happier in the morning.
Slow your roll this weekend and lift your spirits. You got this! Your intangible attitude can get overlooked in spring cleaning, but is arguably the most important item to free from grime.
In reflecting on the wacky list I generated which consists of mood-enhancing activities, I have concluded that my subconscious believes that adjusting one’s attitude is achieved through micro-adjustments. You can’t just “snap out of it.” You need to finesse yourself into your best mindset through daily gut-checks, mental maintenance, and (apparently in my case, a LOT of) self-indulgence. And, if all else fails, drink a glass of water.
Got a sure-fire tip for shaking a funk? Feel free to leave a suggestion in the comments! I am game for trying just about anything. Because dropping the shitty attitude? MAJOR KEY.
Illustration by Kate Worum.
BY Ashley Paguyo El Shourbagy - April 26, 2017
Thank you for being here. For being open to enjoying life’s simple pleasures and looking inward to understand yourself, your neighbors, and your fellow humans! I’m looking forward to chatting with you.