For When You’re Getting Ready to Go Out on a Friday Night
“Let’s have the type of night where it’s like 5 a.m. and once of us has definitely punched somebody who’s been on a Disney channel show.” – Elijah, Girls
For When You Have a Job Interview
“My biggest weakness is that I lose my purse a lot, but then my biggest strength is that I always get it back.” – Ilana, Broad City
For When You Finally Turn 30
“30, flirty and thriving.” – Jenna, 13 Going on 30
For When You Require Bottomless Mimosas
“You know what’s fun? Alcohol!” – Chloe, Don’t the B in Apartment 23
For When a Love Interest Fucks with You
“I am not interested in emotional fuckwittage. Goodbye.” – Bridget, Bridget Jones’s Diary
For When You Get Dumped (Or Dump Someone Else)
“I think I need to just be by myself for maybe, like, a year.” – Mickey, Love
For When You “Practice Food Freedom”
“I am one of the few people who looks hot eating a cupcake.” – Kelly Kapoor, The Office
For When a Friend Disappoints You
“Why can’t you be happy for me and then go home and talk about me behind my back like a normal person?” – Lillian, Bridesmaids
For When You Find Yourself Crying at a Baby Shampoo Commercial
“I just have a lot of feelings.” – “Crying Girl,” Mean Girls
For When Someone Questions Your Majesty
“I could win prom queen in fluorescent lighting, on the first day of my period, and cloaked in T.J. Maxx, ok!” – Taylor, She’s All That
For When … Pizza
“There is no aspect, no moment of life, that can’t be improved with pizza.” – Daria
For When You Finally Figure Out How to Give Yourself a Blowout
“I’m bitchin’/ great hair/ the boys all love to stare.” – The Toros, Bring it On
For When His Eyes Glaze Over
“I hope you like feminist rants, cuz that’s kinda my thing.” – Jess, The New Girl
For When Cartoons Get You Feeling All Existential
“All you are is just the things that you do.” – Diane, Bojack Horseman
Image via whyjenzeetumblr.com
Becky Lang is a writer, creative director and occasional podcaster living in Minneapolis. She also likes to draw dogs and female protagonists.
BY Becky Lang - April 14, 2017
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Thank you for being here. For being open to enjoying life’s simple pleasures and looking inward to understand yourself, your neighbors, and your fellow humans! I’m looking forward to chatting with you.
I feel like I’m crying girl way too much right now, but I definitely want to channel a few others
– Natalie
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