Heartbreak. We’ve all been there. So how do you deal? Are you the type to listen to The National on repeat for three months? Do you rebound with the next available hottie? Turns out, your zodiac sign can tell a *lot* about how you’re going to react. Read on and let me know what you think! As Neil Sedaka sang, “Breakin’ up is hard to do.”
Aries March 21 – April 19
Aries are reactionary hotheads, no question about it, but when it comes to heartbreak, they tend to take it in stride (at least outwardly). It is normal for an Aries to act like everything is fine for 2-3 months, then break down over something seemingly innocuous that reminds them of their old love.
Taurus April 20 – May 20
Steady Taureans hate change – and when they go through a breakup, their world is shifted off its axis and they have a hard time dealing with it. Instead, they throw themselves into their work and favorite hobbies to try and regain normalcy. They will also indulge themselves with “self-care,” likely in the form of shopping sprees and massages.
Gemini May 21 – June 20
Gemini feelings are tricky to pin down, as they are constantly reinventing themselves – a breakup just gives them the chance to evolve. They tend to take breakups easier than most signs, as they are so brimming with self-confidence they have no doubt that they will find someone new in no time flat. Don’t be surprised if they end up befriending their ex along the way.
Cancer June 21 – July 22
Cancers feel very deeply and are crazily intuitive, so they may have already sensed an impending breakup, allowing them ample time to prepare. While the blow of losing someone will cause them to retreat into themselves for a while, they are so intune with their own emotions that they will move on in a relatively healthy way.
Leo July 23 – August 22
Leo’s are loyal and devoted, and tend to give themselves up wholly to those they love – they can let that cloud their judgment to the point that they are blindsided when a relationship ends. Leos are also very prideful, so while they may be hurt on the inside, they would never let themselves be perceived as down for the count. They will post some excruciatingly beautiful thirst traps to let everyone know that they are, in fact, doing just fine.
Virgo August 23 – September 22
Virgos crave control and are secretly the most petty sign in the Zodiac. To them, a breakup is a game with a clear winner and loser, and they intend to win at all costs. They will channel all their sadness into performative self-improvement. Expect them to move on flawlessly and without animosity – they will probably include their ex in their (perfectly crafted, high-quality letterpress) Christmas card distribution list.
Libra September 23 – October 22
Libra’s thrive on being cool and detached, but beneath their Always In Control exterior, they have a fragile ego and will be hurting a lot more than they lead on. Don’t worry, they may be down but they are never out. Libra’s are full of charm and flirtation and will find solace in (many) rebounds before they eventually move on.
Scorpio October 23 – November 21
I would advise against breaking the heart of a Scorpio (kidding, mostly). Scorpios feel emotion more intensely than other signs, and they tend to keep their feelings close to the chest. Couple that with their penchant for retaliation, and you have a perfect mix for a loose cannon. However, they are also known to be the ~*sexiest*~ and most passionate sign, so it won’t take long before they find another to fall under their spell.
Sagittarius November 22 – December 21
Sagittarians aren’t ones to dwell on the past – they are far too independent to let someone else bring them down. In fact, it may have been this independence (and lack of awareness of their lover’s feelings) that caused the relationship to end. Expect them to move on quickly and to act as if their ex simply doesn’t exist – when a Sagittarius is done, they are done.
Capricorn December 22 – January 19
Capricorns are highly analytical when it comes to their professional life, but tend to have blinders on when it comes to love and their personal relationships – breakups will come as a surprise to them. They, like their fellow Earth sign, Taurus, will throw themselves into their work. Nothing helps a Capricorn move on like dedicated personal growth and improvement!
Aquarius January 20 – February 18
The only thing to expect from an Aquarius is the unexpected. Aquarians are “feelings dumb” and have a difficult time processing how they feel. One day, they might be thanking you for breaking up with them because “it was a good idea” and the next day they will be texting you videos of Carl Sagan explaining the cosmos because “they thought of you.” Expect them to never leave your life completely.
Pisces February 19 – March 20
Sensitive and empathetic, Pisces are the wallowers of the Zodiac, and it takes them a long time to get over someone they love. They tend to need to dig themselves into a deep hole of sadness before they pull themselves out of their funk. They will be the ones to listen to Sufjan Stevens’ entire discography (twice) before they can move on.
Image via Etsy
BY Amanda White - January 12, 2018
Thank you for being here. For being open to enjoying life’s simple pleasures and looking inward to understand yourself, your neighbors, and your fellow humans! I’m looking forward to chatting with you.