I will preface this by giving my routine “I don’t have all the answers” schpeel, BUT! I have learned a few key things since I was recently booted out of the nest (fired from my job) and have had to rework the way my brain has lived for twenty-seven years. Although it’s a massive work in progress, I’m getting there, and I want to assist you if I can, should you be in a similar mental state as me. This state is usually some derivative of, “YOU CAN’T DO THAT THING YOU WANT TO ACHIEVE because of X, Y, and also Z.”
You don’t come into this world immediately assuming you’re not capable of achieving your dreams. No, instead you’re pummeled with messages that manifest into these little pathways in your brain that control the way you think! They’re extremely messed up little bugs just forging brain roads without your consent! You begin to assume you can’t accomplish what you want, well, partially because of someone else’s beliefs about how life works—how YOUR life should work. But it’s all bullshit and let me explain why.
You start as a little kid assuming anything in the entire world is possible. That’s why it’s so fun to ask kids what they want to be when they grow up. They’re just like, “Well I’m going to be president of the United States or an astronaut?” with this “I haven’t decided yet among every single option in the world please give me some time?” attitude. The speed at which we lose that confidence in ourselves (*cough* women *cough*) is absolutely devastating. You were born thinking you could achieve anything and somehow you taught your subconscious the opposite. But it’s merely a state of thought.
So, don’t believe your thoughts. I’m not trying to be all coffee table self-help book on you and tell you what to do. And I know this is a very, very hard thing, but it’s something I repeat to myself all day every day and it *does* help. You have to realize that this voice in your head is not real. It *seems* real. You can hear it crystal clear. It’s not. It’s as fake as my eyebrows. It’s this imaginary little implant you’ve built inside of your head (the pathway bugs built it remember?). You’ve built it purely with the help of other people’s negativity combined with your own self-doubt.
You have to realize that this voice in your head is not real. It *seems* real. You can hear it crystal clear. It’s not. . . . You’ve built it purely with the help of other people’s negativity combined with your own self-doubt.
Liz in my head is not nice at all. But she’s only a major b*tch to me which is soul-destroying and extremely exhausting. I’m guessing you’re the same way? You’d never in eight million years talk to or treat another human the way you internally address yourself?
However, I’ve recently started this really odd thing where I force myself to believe ALL THE GOOD THINGS people say about me. I’ve been doing this instead of brushing them off as just their way of making conversation or being nice. And it’s actually starting to work. I write down every single thing that someone says about me that makes me feel good. I screenshot every text and email. Put them all into a folder, or a corresponding journal. Put them on Post-its and tape them to my mirror. Seeing these affirmations about yourself multiple times a day/week *will* definitely have an overall effect on the thoughts you have. They can be pretty powerful. (Note: It’s okay to ask your friends what you’re good at/what they love about you. I do this frequently and because they’re the best people in the world, they always answer. On a similar wave: Cleanse your life of people who don’t make you feel good. Are we still wasting time on negative relationships in 2018?)
You got this.
BY Liz Welle - September 14, 2019
Thank you for being here. For being open to enjoying life’s simple pleasures and looking inward to understand yourself, your neighbors, and your fellow humans! I’m looking forward to chatting with you.