There are people in my life who are the most wonderful gift givers—always thoughtful, always unique, always spot-on. I’ve learned some lessons from these friends and family members on how to be a really excellent gift giver, and I’m sharing them with you today. These gift-giving ideas apply to any occasion—from holidays to birthdays and every little celebration in between. Here’s to sharing meaningful gifts with the people we love.

5 Ways to Be a Really Good Gift Giver

1. Listen all year round—or start now!

People tell you what they love, and thoughtful gift-giving starts with listening in those moments. With everyone in my life, I’ve been listening to what they say and tuning into what excites them. I keep an ear out for gift ideas all year round so I’m not rushing when the holidays (or birthdays) arrive.

Have they started a new hobby? Ask how it’s going and glean inspiration from there. Are they making a big transition into retirement or moving across the country? Listen for ways to help out, celebrate, or honor the milestone. The best gifts are the ones that show someone you notice the little things they’re loving or pursuing. 

2. Collect gift ideas in one place.

Don’t count on yourself to remember the ideas you pick up through all of your listening. Figure out a way to collect the information and organize it. I mainly use the iPhone Notes app. Joe and I have a shared note with a list of the birthdays of people in our lives. Underneath each name, I’ll write down thought starters for gifts and things I know they enjoy. I also save some ideas verbally in the Voice Memos app, which is an easy way to get ideas out of my head in the moment so I can revisit them later.

3. Ask for a list.

If you’re stuck, don’t be afraid to ask the person for a short list of exactly what they want. Some people shy away from being this direct or think it takes the magic out of gifting. I think it’s a perfectly reasonable way to ensure you’re giving a gift that will be used and enjoyed. When I ask for a list, I find the gifting experience just as enjoyable as when I think of gift ideas on my own. This leads me to my next point…

4. The gift doesn’t need to be a surprise.

Don’t worry about coming up with the “perfect” gift idea. You don’t have to surprise them with something unexpected either! Choosing a gift from their wish list is a wonderful way to delight them and get them something they really want. I got Joe a specific pair of shoes he asked for on his birthday, and his reaction was as if it was a total surprise. He was so excited!! It reminded me that true surprises are overrated sometimes. 

5. Don’t overcompensate.

Watch out for the temptation to overcompensate, especially when you’re not sure what your giftee wants. When it comes to gift-giving, we often end up spending too much, which makes everyone uncomfortable. I think of the episode of The Office where Michael gave a video iPod in the group exchange when the spending limit was $20. 

Often, sentimental gifts mean as much (if not more) than costly items. For Joe’s birthday this year, I recorded a video about why I love him and the kids did too. It was a unique way to capture this moment in time and it didn’t cost a thing. If overcompensating is a pattern of yours, hopefully the ideas in this post will help you avoid it! 


For more gift-giving inspiration, I’ll be sharing my holiday gift guide on Wit & Delight this month! Until then, browse last year’s gift guide to get the gift ideas flowing.

Kate Arends

Kate is the founder of Wit & Delight. She is currently learning how to play tennis and is forever testing the boundaries of her creative muscle. Follow her on Instagram at @witanddelight_.