Learning to Love the Me I’m Becoming

Relationships


I’ve started this article many times over. Baring your soul and being vulnerable on the internet is always a good thing, right? I mean. What could possibly go wrong? Let’s see.

In May of 2015, after a few years of struggling to fit ourselves into a marriage that just wasn’t working, my husband and I decided to separate. It wasn’t a decision either of us predicted, nor enjoyed. As a mother to a 3-year-old daughter, I had the worst case of mom guilt EVER (and sometimes still do) over physically separating our family. We survived, found a new normal as a family unit and continue to co-parent our brave girl as a team.

Was it the worst thing that has happened to me thus far? Hell yes. But in the end, the woman that I’m discovering and becoming, the life that I’m building, I’m not sure it would have been possible any other way.

When things fall apart, our natural human inclination is to go inward. And inward I went. Like an A+ student of grief, I journaled, therapied and pushed my way through the process. Learning about my fears, my weaknesses, and also my strengths, my gifts, my joy. When there is no light it’s difficult to find your path. Slowly and steadily, I feel like I’m finding mine – one step at a time.

I’ve found the places, spaces, and passions that spark joy and build connection. I’ve rediscovered the bits that bring calm, purpose and intention to my life. The things that make me the best ME I can be. Things like:

I feel most alive when making art. A practice I didn’t prioritize in my former life.

I dance when I cook, and I like to try new recipes a lot. Now, if they fail, cereal for dinner is perfectly acceptable.

I like color, pattern, and texture in my space. And pink. Lots of pink.

I love visiting museums solo and wandering aimlessly for hours, getting lost in inspiration – not worrying if someone else is bored out of their mind.

A dinner date for one is the perfect excuse to dress up.

Flowers given to yourself are JUST as beautiful.

My favorite dance partner is my 7-year-old girl.

I love the calm in a still and quiet home.

These bits, parts, and rituals that I’ve built + found have brought me a deeper peace and happiness I had been lacking. More than self-care, I’ve come to realize that focusing on my personal happiness and well-being is the best way to make ANY relationship work. I am a better mother, friend, daughter, and partner when I’m keeping my side of the street clean, happy, well-fed + maintained. It took years of therapy, mediation, some tequila and a divorce for me to learn this lesson. While I wouldn’t wish divorce on anyone, ever – I’ve found that for me, this forced reset was exactly what my soul needed to build my path and love my life even more than I expected. I’m not sure what the crystal ball of love holds for me in the future, but for now, I’m happy to be living a life I love just as it is.

Images via 1


BY Jill Elliott - February 22, 2019

Did you know W&D now has a resource library of  Printable Art, Templates, Freebies, and more?

take me there 

Arrow Alone

Get Our Best W&D Resources

for designing a life well-lived

8 Comments  +

add a comment

  1. Kate

    February 22nd, 2019 at 6:47 pm

    You are so amazing. Everything was so well said. We all have our battles and the way you battled through them is something everyone can learn from. At times change is hard, but it is truly the way we grow. Such a great post!

    -Kate
    https://daysofkate.com

  2. Jill Elliott

    February 28th, 2019 at 9:26 am

    Thank you Kate, appreciate your words! xx, jill

  3. Learning to Love the Me I’m Becoming | Home & Kitchen Essentials

    February 23rd, 2019 at 12:07 am

    […] Original source: https://witanddelight.com/2019/02/learning-to-love-the-me-im-becoming/ […]

  4. Lucie

    February 23rd, 2019 at 3:49 am

    Everytime a new blog post comes up, it always seems to feel exactly adapted to what Im going through too. Thank you so much for these words. Separation is difficult (I also went through it), but as life goes on, we understand sometimes much later the benefits it brings us too. Thank you for your wise words.

  5. Jill Elliott

    February 28th, 2019 at 9:25 am

    Thank you Lucie! Separation is difficult, but you’re so right to look for the benefits it can bring our way. All the best, Jill

  6. Jessica Maxwell

    February 27th, 2019 at 8:36 am

    This is perfect. You are an inspiration and I’m so glad to know you! Having been through something similar, I know how difficult the journey can be. There is light on the other side, and you beautifully captured all of that.

  7. Jill Elliott

    February 28th, 2019 at 9:27 am

    Thank you Jessica! So glad our paths crossed and that we can talk about the light on the other side together! xx, jill

  8. Sonia Agarwalla

    February 28th, 2019 at 4:34 am

    You are really awesome and tell the story very nicely, thanks for your contribution, If you find the love then firstly you find love status which you can find here https://ienjoyshayari.in/ visit the site and find the best one.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

MORE LIKE THIS:

Why Decorating Your Home Is Good for Your Mental Health

What 10 Years of Blogging Taught Me

The Hidden Benefits of Being Incredibly Uncomfortable

6 Easy-to-Grow, Can’t Kill Houseplants for Beginners

The Golden Rule: A Dream Career Built From Love, Loss and Resilience

Introvert Dating An Extrovert? Here’s How To Make It Work

Tornadoes to Tablescapes: Life Inside the Lifestyle Blog

Black, White and Love All Over

Marriage – A Requirement of Commitment?

Women vs. Women, and a Little Thing Called “Self-Respect”

Homemade Green Tea and Honey Mask

An Apartment of Firsts: A Personal Story

Find Financial Freedom with a Value-Based Budget

Freedom Is Trying New Things and Failing

How to Quiet the Voice in Your Head that Tells You “You Can’t”

Perfectly Imperfect Parenting

Kate’s Picks: 8 Things I Tried Last Month and Loved

Do You Really Need a Flat Sheet? And Other Key Questions About Bedding

MORE STORIES

Arrow Alone

the latest

Thank you for being here. For being open to enjoying life’s simple pleasures and looking inward to understand yourself, your neighbors, and your fellow humans! I’m looking forward to chatting with you.

Hi, I'm Kate. Welcome to my happy place.

Easily navigate all our recommended products across beauty, fashion, decor, and wellness. 

SHOP W&D Loves ›

follow  @WITANDDELIGHT

ELSEWHERE

PINTEREST

FACEBOOK

333k

3m

12.5k

INSTAGRAM